Have you ever missed a payment on a bank loan anticipating that you will receive a phone called from your loans officer informing you that you missed a payment as if you did not already know? What is the feeling experienced during that moment? Stop for a minute and think about it. Wait, I can tell you, an array of emotions runs through your body like an electric shock; quick, fast and hurriedly. The annoyance felt triggers frustration which then triggers your anger, ain’t it? This is exactly how our young people feel when we constantly bombard them with negative labels while expecting them to produce positive seeds. It is simply preposterous to expect anything good from a child who is abused constantly.

So here is my advice; zip those lips if you have nothing good to say to them or about them, stop telling them that they are our future generation if you are not prepared to treat them as such. Do not tell them they are the wealth of our nation if you expect that they will rob and cheat you. Move away from the notion that our young people are a liability ensured after missing a payment on a loan, and start treating them more like the kings and queens of our land.

Grooming our young girls into queens and our young boys into kings is no easy task, but I assure you it is worth it, every minute of it is worth it. As duty bearers – teachers, parents, police officers, ministers, community and political leaders,  we are charged with a myriad of responsibility as it pertains to guiding, supporting and protecting our children’s future. How we do it is just as important as why we do it. More and more children are learning about their rights and are expecting that those responsible for them ensure that their rights are not infringed upon in any way. While this is good, the role of the duty bearer should not be stripped away and neither should proper parenting be compromised. Of course, this new dynamic makes our jobs harder as we are now called upon by our children to include them in decision-making matters that affect their lives, but all within good reasoning. I am sure you will not allow your eight-year-old to decide if he/she wants to go to school on any given day because the answer will definitely be no. Their focus at this stage is on the play aspect of their life so you are responsible for making the decision to send him/her to school daily whether he/she wants to or not.

Nevertheless, change is the only constant that exists in life and as we embrace this new dynamic by being more inclusive when working with our children and using a more collaborative and rights-based approach, it is essential that we do not forget that we are our children’s greatest teachers and the first foundation upon which they will build the rest of their life and so if the foundation is weak guess what happens to the house? However, more and more adults are no longer in an authoritative position in their child’s life but are now collaborators who are responsible for providing assistance, guidance, and support as their child maneuvers through life. Of course, no parent wants their child/children to suffer at the hand of the system that has placed a cap on them or categorized them based on invisible lines according to their race, living locations, religion or socio-economic status, thus the fight by so many parents to ensure that they properly position their child for success. Note that the concept of success here is relative because what one parent might consider a success another might think is a failure. However, the idea is to position our youths for greatness despite the fact that their greatness hinges on a system that is often times unforgiving and non-progressive not to mention ancient.

Being a parent myself in this twenty-first-century era is not easy and is certainly different to the way I was taught things and raised as a child living in the countryside. My daughter is exposed to so much more both positive and negative which requires me to constantly be the filter in her life. However, I have come to accept that as a parent today, I should not compromise on teaching my daughter morals and values and most definitely not with spiritual values despite her desire to have autonomy which I acknowledged, respected and will protect. But, my job will forever be to ensure that I am her guiding light, her superheroes, her role model and her confidant.

Therefore, I challenge you today to adopt a little boy or girl who has no mother or father and commit to taking care of him/her until he or she blossoms into a king or queen that you can be proud to leave in charge of our land. You have the power, I have the power and together we are a powerhouse of positive people willing to ensure that the vital ess of life in our nation’s youths is enhanced.

By Malissa Valentine